The hospital moves slowly sometimes, especially because we’re short-staffed on weekends. Sure, there’s inefficiency and and terribly convoluted lines of communication, but those are entirely different topics. Today, I was taking an H&P on a new patient who was waiting to be moved to my service’s floor:
Pt: so when is lunch?
Me: probably after they move you to the third floor.
Pt: They have to move me? Lord knows how long that’ll take!
Me: Aww, it’s not that bad. I’m sure it’ll be soon enough, everyone is doing what they can and you’ll be up there in a jiffy.
Pt [glares at me]: No, you’re….a fairytale maker! That’s why I stopped watching television, because it was full of fairy tales! I’ll probably get moved sometime tomorrow at this rate!
“Fairytale maker” is perhaps the nicest euphemism for “liar” that I’ve ever had the distinction of being called. I’m going to use that from now on and see if it catches on.